The two poles of a reactive pattern

From: Mind Training 15
Full transcript
Audioclip

Every pattern has two poles, which I choose to call expressive and receptive. Not active and passive, they aren’t quite precise. The very easy one you see is the bully/coward. The bully is the expressive and the coward is the receptive. Now, bully isn’t a pattern; coward isn’t a pattern. The pattern is bully/coward. And when you push on a bully and make it impossible for him to be a bully—threaten him so you’re bigger than he is—then he becomes a coward. And when a coward encounters a situation where cowardice doesn’t work, he flips into bully. Which is one of the reasons why some of the weakest people become the most vicious torturers, you know. The people who are weak inside become the most vicious torturers.

So, most of us, in a reactive pattern, identify primarily with either the expressive or the receptive pole. So, we often think of just the one side. But as you begin to work on, say the expressive pole, and it becomes more and more difficult for you to function in it, then you will flip and start behaving in exactly the opposite way. And what’s important to understand here is the pattern hasn’t disappeared, you’ve just picked up the train and reversed the train—it’s running on the same track.

So, when you start seeing this flip, now you’ve got to work on the other side, and the best way to do this is to hold the expressive and the receptive in attention at the same time. By doing that you will bring attention to the emotional issue that is driving the pattern as a whole and split into these two forms of expression.

More on this topic in: Buddhahood Without Meditation 9 |  Warrior's Solution 4

Drive all blame into one

From: Mind Training Santa Fe 3
Full transcript
Audioclip

Ken: Whatever happens, you experience it as completely as you can. Now, there are a number of instructions here which help you do this. And you can see that they fall into three categories. The first two pertain to how we interact with others. And the first one is wonderful: 

Drive all blame into one. 

Basically what this means is that you are responsible for everything that’s gone wrong in the world. Each one of you. You know, in your life, in the life of every being on this planet, you’re responsible for everything that’s gone wrong. How does that feel? 

Student: Power. [Laughter] 

Ken: Either you’re very clever, or you've just walked into my trap. [Laughs] Say more.
Student: Well, if I’m responsible for everything, then I can have that power to change things. 

Ken: Exactly. What happens to guilt? 

Student: It goes. 

Ken: Exactly. So if you’re responsible for everything, you’re to blame for everything--guilt’s gone. You don’t have that luxury anymore. Okay? 

Student: Life is [unclear]. 

Ken: Mmm-hmm. But now it’s just become the law of the world. You’re you’re to blame for everything. You’re the universal screw-up. [Laughter] Everything that goes on in the world--your fault. That’s it. Now, when you really sit with that, how does it feel? Does it feel heavy? 

Student: No. 

Ken: No. Yeah, very freeing. That’s transformation. Now, it’s very easy to do it right now. We’re just doing it, like, theoretically. Okay? So, you leave this retreat, you go to work, and your boss says, “Where the hell have you been? Do you know that we lost these contracts, and so-and-so’s left, and all this stuff is falling apart. This is the last time you can go on vacation.” You didn’t know this was a vacation, right? [Laughter] Okay, now do this instruction. What do you do? How do you respond? [Laughs] 

Student: Yeah, I know. 

Ken: Shauna? [Laughs] 

Shauna: What? [Laughs] 

Ken: A little too close to home? [Laughs] How do you respond? 

Student: Well, it actually might help... 

Ken: Yeah, but if your boss is there it’s probably not a good idea just to go, “Yeah.” [Laughter] So? [Laughs] Right. What do you do? 

Student: You agree with him. 

Ken:  Yeah, Say it again. 

Student: You agree with him. 

Ken: Yeah.

Don't miss the point

Don't miss the point (from Mind Training Santa Fe (MTSF02) 00:38:33.90 - 00:40:18.40)

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The key principle in all Buddhist practice is to move into the experience of whatever is arising, right in the present. In the Theravadan tradition this is characterized as the courage to endure what arises. Mahayana, we cheat. Everything's a dream. Vajrayana, or direct awareness techniques, sit and be with everything. Never lose attention for a moment. Don't try to make anything different. The mahamudra instructions: no distraction, no control, no work. Means you're not distracted by anything. You don't try to control your experience in any way. And you don't work at to make some kind of experience happen, or some kind of ability happen. You're just right in what is. It's the same right across all Buddhism. Move right into the experience and be there. The whole point of all of these different techniques is to develop that ability. Whether it's Soto Zen, Theravadan, Vipashyana, visualization meditations, Six Yogas of Naropa, dzogchen. It all comes down to that point.