Bringing attention into action: the Toltec way

In this clip from Ken's talks on the eightfold path he draws on Don Miguel Ruiz' The Four Agreements...

Bringing attention into action (from 8FP02 00:17:25.07 - 00:20:58.04)

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The other one comes from the Toltec tradition and I have no idea how it's worded in the original language, so these are translations.

Be impeccable with your word.

Now that's going to happen quite naturally when you listen, when you bring attention into speaking.

Just a little question for you, How many of you talk to yourselves? Okay. When you talk to yourselves, do you bring attention to what you're actually saying to yourself? Most of us don't. There's this voice that natters at us and says all of these horrible things and judgmental things. Or if they aren't saying horrible things then they're saying quite ridiculously arrogant things. It just goes on and on and we call it thinking.

So be impeccable with your word certainly in our interactions with others but also start paying attention to how you're speaking with yourself. Might be a good idea. That's the first one.

Second one is: Don't take things personally.

I'm working with a business owner right now and he's a good guy, but he has this tendency to take everything terribly personally. So a lot of the coaching I'm doing with him is just about, "You know, that wasn't actually about you. This is what was going on there." And he went , "Really? Oh."

And things happen and people do things but a friend of mine says, "Ninety eight percent of what people say is about themselves." You may think they are criticizing you but they aren't. They' re actually on their own case and they're just projecting that on to you.

The third one is: Don't make assumptions.

This is closely related to get the facts. We make all kinds of assumptions about things. Rather than make assumptions, ask questions.

Bryon Katie has a very nice formulation here: Is this true? How do you know it is true? She got a couple of other ones but those are the first two. And that is usually sufficient to work though an awful lot of projections right there.

And the fourth one is: Always do your best.

Suzuki Roshi makes a very similar statement in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind when he says, "Whenever you do anything burn up completely so there aren't even any ashes." Now the idea here is very simple. When you know that you have done your best then you'rre able to receive whatever happens.

Bringing attention into action

From:  Eightfold Path 2
Full Transcript
Audioclip

So I want to give you two formulae that I've found helpful for bringing attention into action. Neither of these come from Buddhist sources, but, well I can kind of fudge from a Buddhist source, but it isn't really.

When you're in a situation and it doesn't really matter what, and things aren't going the way that you want or expect, five things:

First, get the facts. Find out what is actually going on.

Our tendency is to make up stories about it. And whenever there's something happening which we don't understand what's really going on, we make a up story. And it's astonishing how quickly we make up that story. And there's a very important characteristic of that story; we're always the hero of it, which makes it suspect right there. So rather than make up a story, get the facts. What's actually happening.

Second, rather than react emotionally, and particularly defensively or judgmentally, which is what we usually do, empathize and understand with the other people.

Find out what they're experiencing and try to understand that. And so that makes an emotional connection, which really changes things.

Focus on what needs to be done, not on what isn't going right.

Focus on what needs to be done. As one person says: "Stop messing about with the past and look to the future." I put this in terms of: "Focus on the direction of the present." What actually needs to happen here to make this work?

And be strategic. You may think it should happen a certain way but that way may not work in this situation. So you've got to figure out what will actually work.

Often when people are consulting with me about problems they're facing, I'll make a suggestion and they say, well, we can't do that because of this, and we can't do that because of that and I can't do that because of this. And their tendency is to regard all of this as obstacles. What they're actually describing is the territory in which they are living at that point. And these are things that have to be negotiated and worked around but they aren't actually obstacles unless you regard them as an obstacle. And I've found that shift in perspective is very helpful to people.

And then the fifth one is: whatever happens receive it and keep going.

One of my favorite quotations is from Churchill. "When you're going through hell, keep going." Certainly applicable in Britain in the Second World War.

Five Mysteries

From the Warrior's Solution retreat, which is about how to live in power without being controlled by it.

Below are the definitions of the five mysteries examined in the retreat:

1. Power
2. Balance
3. Presence
4. Truth
5. Freedom

Definitions of five mysteries (from WS01: Warrior's Solution (retreat) (revised) 00:10:29.00 - 00:17:18.00)

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Power is the ability to be present in intentional action.

Balance is the union of knowing, being, and acting at the point at which experience arises.

Presence: being in the full experience of what is arising: internal, external, and awareness.

The definition of truth is what is.

Freedom is the ongoing release of constraints (or being nothing as experience arises).